Sunday - John leaves for church early and I get the kids and myself there by 10:30am.
Monday - We were going to try and go to playgroup, but so far we haven't made it this year. I think I'm going to have to let that one go.
Tuesday - College Bible study and Moorewest Community Dinner
Wednesday - Running Junior Jivers
Thursday - College subject in the evening. John puts the kids to bed while I head into the city at 5:30 for a 3 hour class.
Friday - Meet my one-to-one fortnightly
Saturday - Family day/whatever else is on
All of this is while I still breastfeeding and introducing David to solids and really feeling the need to nanna-nap each afternoon. This really takes up a fair chunk of time (much to Hannah's disappointment at being put down for a sleep).
What I've discovered so far:
1. My house is an embarrassing mess and I really struggle to have time to clean it properly, let alone de-clutter the mounting piles of "stuff" everywhere.
2. I'm in constant risk of going off at the kids for minor things, because I'm feeling so tired and like a failure because I'm not doing everything as well as I expect of myself.
3. I'm not doing very much very well, because I'm not preparing for things properly.
4. I have a rising sense of guilt about all these things.
5. I need to de-stress by making things, but I don't end up having time when I still need to finish chores in the evenings (hence my online shop is currently on "vacation mode").
6. Caring for small children can really leave me feeling peopled-out, but then I still need to spend time with adults or I get way too introspective.
Do you find it hard to decide what things you should fill your week with? How do you decide between what's good and what's best? How do you let go of the expectations upon yourself that there's always more you can fit in because you're not "working"? I think that this is a lesson that I'm going to have to learn many many times before it sinks in.
Photo from Flickr by NCinDC.
Good lesson, and if you will just give the Holyspirit more access into your everday life, it will sink in so effortlessly and quickly...
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouragement David. I'm not sure that we can have degrees of the Holy Spirit however. After all, we have already been blessed with "every spiritual blessing." Eph 1:3
DeleteWow! Bec, that's really huge! Its certainly something that's been on the front of things for me as I battle with chronic illness. It's a tough one because the guilt of not doing enough or the right things does creep up quickly!
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I dedicated my blogpost this week to a similar topic: http://fmsfaith.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/god-says-always-be-not-always-do.html
Some helpful things I've learnt:
1. Mess is ok. A little mess never killed anyone.
2. If you have less things, there tends to be less mess, so if you can find sometime, perhaps on a saturday, to declutter & get rid of things you don't need, that'd be really helpful.
3. You mentioned you don't work. I beg to differ. You work pretty much full-time (a little more by the sounds of things)- with being a mum.
4. With the guilt, take a deep breath & ask yourself this: If Jesus came back tomorrow, would I really be gutted that I didn't clean the house today? This one is a tough one that I struggle with. I put all this pressure on myself to do & do & do & forget that I am a sheep, who needs rest & time to recharge. Thankfully, it doesn't take long for God to remind me that I'm only human.
I hope & pray God helps us both learn this lesson well. :)
Thanks for your comments!!
DeleteI agree with you about the whole working thing, that's why I had it in inverted comma's - finding time off with littlies is a challenge!! You don't even get a lunch break ;-) I'm definitely working on the down-sizing clutter - it just takes a while.
The guilt I find hard because I think we all tend to project an image that we are super-human and can do it all, which doesn't really help anyone.
Praying too!!
SIGH. Sighhhhh. Sigh!
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I thought I struggled with all these (with no kids) can't imagine what it would be like WITH kids. Mess is mess, don't worry about that one but I do agree about de-cluttering, it's something I do every now and then. Things that I don't use for a year, I just give to vinnies. Wish I was in Sydney, I would totally help you out!!!!
ReplyDeleteI know this sounds ridiculous given that you've just said you don't have time for anything...but I highly stress that exercise and eating healthy is essential for energy and de-stressing, involve your children somehow and maybe other mothers with kids? that way you can interact with adults as well.
Just remember that you don't have to be doing other work to feel like you're doing 'something'. Being a Mum of two is a full time job and you do need to spend the time with the kids.
You really need to consider your extra curricular activities, junior jivers? playgroup? moore dinner? bible study? You've commited to a lot and you really need to drop a few/all?. Consider what's priority, what you love doing etc. If making things help you to de-stress then make the time for it by dropping one of your activities mentioned above.
I've had to drop quite a few things this year so that I can work full time, maintain my website and do photography plus ensure I have time for God + Exercise + Wayne + family + friends + personal time for me. It was SO hard especially because most of the things I dropped were church-related, but I had to do it otherwise I would have burnt myself out.
Praying for you xx
I agree with the reconsidering Farrah - I'm just not sure that I can let go of too much more at the moment. A lot of them aren't too much effort, such as Bible study where I get time with God's word and other ladies and Hannah is in creche. But then I need to make sure that I'm not just justifying myself too much and be realistic. Making things isn't really an option while the kids are awake either. ;-)Definitely giving it more thought though!
DeleteWell done for being so self-disciplined!