The Final Countdown - 11 Days to Go

Well, it's been about 5 months since my last post... Oops...  Certainly not because I haven't had anything that I've wanted to share, but you know life.  It's busy.  And messy.  And such a blessing from God!

So, I've decided to snatch up these 10 minutes, while our nearly 4 year old is at preschool, and our 2 year old and 7 month old are sleeping, and before I take my nap too.

11 days.  That's all we have left now in Sydney.  We've been here for nearly 4 years, a Bible college degree and 2 babies, and now we have 11 days left.  I can't believe it.  There is just so much to process and so many mixed feelings about leaving, and soooooo much packing to do.

I'm so thankful for our time here.  For all that we've learnt and our personal growth through college and church and Christian community, for our wonderful and amazing church and college friends.  For the two beautiful children who were born while we were here, and for the one who has essential done all of her growing here.  For not having to move for 4 lovely, settled years.  For the, at times, rough ride that college has been and for all that has taught us about God's care and love, and about ourselves and our marriage.  For the deep and wonderful friends that God has brought my way - I will miss you dearly!

I'm also thankful for a new church family ready and waiting for us, who trust John to take over leading them!  For being so much closer to pretty much all of our extended family (sorry Mum and Dad, you really should consider moving south!!).  For a lovely house to move in to where not everything will take place in the lounge room.  For a backyard (although I will miss hanging out with the other mums under the clotheslines!).

So many mixed feelings.  As I said to John yesterday, it's not that I don't want to move to Melbourne - in fact, I'm quite excited about it!  I just don't want to leave here.

Image by Robert S. Donovan on Flickr

Don't Be Afraid of the Ball

I used to play soccer B.C. (before children). Well, before marriage really. Somewhat embarrassingly, it was 'Bend It Like Beckham' that finally got me out the door and joining up with the local team (I don't think I've ever been described as 'sporty'). I was a back row defender, the main reason being that while I was more than happy to mark people like a champ (well, as much as I could manage to keep up with them *wheeze, wheeze, puff, puff!*) and use my body to physically block girls charging towards the goals (soccer really isn't a non-contact sport), I wasn't really expected to "do" anything with the ball apart from keep it away from our goal. Yep. I was afraid to have a go at scoring. I didn't think I, and honestly I probably didn't, have the ball skills necessary to get past the other teams defenders.

I was afraid of the ball.

Why am I telling you this? Is it a limping attempt to relive my sporting "glory days"?  Actually, no. It all started with a conversation that my lovely husband and I had a couple of weeks ago about evangelism. He was saying that the church is like an AFL team, with "Your evangelists out the front, looking to score goals..."  At which point I was lost. Sorry. I only lived in Victoria until I was 6. How on earth does that strange game work?  I started thinking about soccer. 

I'm afraid most of the time I've rated my evangelism skills as being roughly on par with my soccer ball skills. I'm more than happy to support the "evangelists", cheer them on, defend in the back line, but please don't think I can make any opportunities to "score", because I just don't have the skills!  

I've come to realise that the final sentence above should finish with the word 'confidence'. A thought that I have to admit, troubles me. But it's an issue i think, however stitlingly, I think I've slowly been getting better at.

I love the realisation that I know the gospel, and that's all that I need to know to tell people about Jesus. While evangelistic tools can be helpful, the most important thing to do is to just start talking. I can talk as openly about God as I do the other things I love, and God can use that to lead to an opportunity for me to share more of his Word with people. And as God said to Isaiah in Isaiah 55:11, "So it is my word that goes out from my mouth:  It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  Every conversation that I have with someone about God may not lead them straight to trust in him immediately, or even at all, but it may lead to another conversation sometime, with someone. And the person I've spoken to will know that I am a Christian, so if they do have questions later, they'll know I'm more than happy to talk about it. I don't need special words, or a special formula, but I can just talk.  That's not to say that I don't get ridiculously excited when I do get the opportunity to talk to someone about God, and don't have the voice in my head screaming, "Oh my goodness!  An opportunity!  Don't stuff it up!!!!"

Even if I may not feel like I'm a 'striker', or have particular skills in evangelism, it's great to know that I can be ready to make the most of the opportunities that I do have (Ephesians 5:15-16), and sometimes to even make some.  As it says in 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

Photo by anekphoto on Flickr

A Proper Grown Up

How do you feel about your age?  Do you feel your age?  I remember thinking, when I was a child, that the grown ups had it all together.  They were in control, knew what had to be done, and were so confident in moving about in their lives.  I just turned 33 (eeep!) and most of the time I don't think I feel terribly much different than when I was about 14.  I know that I have grown and changed immensely since then, but on the average day, that's pretty much my perception of the view from the inside.  And that is why what I am about to share gives me a right ol' slap in the face, shaking me back into reality.

My lovely husband has recently been voted in to be the next senior minister (well, they only have one so there's not much choice!) of a fairly recent church plant in Melbourne.  What a flood of conflicting emotions!  We're so excited to be stepping into this position next year - what an amazing opportunity and a wonderful privilege!  ...  And what an immense responsibility!  He's going to be the church minister.  I'm going to be the minister's wife.  Our family will be on show, for all to see (a confronting prospect when you're a bit sleep deprived, low on patience and trying to teach small people how to control their tempers...).  It is all a bit daunting when you still like doing things like swishing your feet through crunchy autumn leaves, jumping on trampolines, eating Cheezles off your fingers, clapping like a maniac when you get excited and still finding toilet humour quite hilarious (that one I also blame on a background in nursing - you've got to laugh, otherwise you'd cry).  It's nearly time to step up and be a proper grown up.

Recently though, I started thinking about other things that people have done by the time that they were my age; responsibilities that other people have taken on.  Calvin had already churned out his first version of the "Institutes" by the time he was 27.  I'm pretty sure that Andrew Reid was the national director of AFES well before 33.  Albeit he was God the Son, but Jesus died on the cross for the sins of all humanity when he was 33, and that we following a 3 year public teaching ministry.  I by no means assume that my influence will ever be anywhere near such people, but it did encourage me that it is possible, and no doubt time, to not be afraid to be a "proper grown up", with proper grown up sized responsibilities.  After all, that is why we came to Bible college.  And even though I know I am going to do and say things that I will regret, I can hold fast to my God, who says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9  And I pray that I can emulate Paul when he says, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Definitely time to take some deep breathes, get a solid diet of God's Word happening again (toll of a new baby) and keep praying!

Image is by bulldog1 of flickr