A Proper Grown Up

How do you feel about your age?  Do you feel your age?  I remember thinking, when I was a child, that the grown ups had it all together.  They were in control, knew what had to be done, and were so confident in moving about in their lives.  I just turned 33 (eeep!) and most of the time I don't think I feel terribly much different than when I was about 14.  I know that I have grown and changed immensely since then, but on the average day, that's pretty much my perception of the view from the inside.  And that is why what I am about to share gives me a right ol' slap in the face, shaking me back into reality.

My lovely husband has recently been voted in to be the next senior minister (well, they only have one so there's not much choice!) of a fairly recent church plant in Melbourne.  What a flood of conflicting emotions!  We're so excited to be stepping into this position next year - what an amazing opportunity and a wonderful privilege!  ...  And what an immense responsibility!  He's going to be the church minister.  I'm going to be the minister's wife.  Our family will be on show, for all to see (a confronting prospect when you're a bit sleep deprived, low on patience and trying to teach small people how to control their tempers...).  It is all a bit daunting when you still like doing things like swishing your feet through crunchy autumn leaves, jumping on trampolines, eating Cheezles off your fingers, clapping like a maniac when you get excited and still finding toilet humour quite hilarious (that one I also blame on a background in nursing - you've got to laugh, otherwise you'd cry).  It's nearly time to step up and be a proper grown up.

Recently though, I started thinking about other things that people have done by the time that they were my age; responsibilities that other people have taken on.  Calvin had already churned out his first version of the "Institutes" by the time he was 27.  I'm pretty sure that Andrew Reid was the national director of AFES well before 33.  Albeit he was God the Son, but Jesus died on the cross for the sins of all humanity when he was 33, and that we following a 3 year public teaching ministry.  I by no means assume that my influence will ever be anywhere near such people, but it did encourage me that it is possible, and no doubt time, to not be afraid to be a "proper grown up", with proper grown up sized responsibilities.  After all, that is why we came to Bible college.  And even though I know I am going to do and say things that I will regret, I can hold fast to my God, who says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9  And I pray that I can emulate Paul when he says, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Definitely time to take some deep breathes, get a solid diet of God's Word happening again (toll of a new baby) and keep praying!

Image is by bulldog1 of flickr