Emerging From the Mists, and Other Undertakings...

Well, it's been quite some time since my last post - 8 months to be exact, and hopefully I won't have to begin every post with the start of this sentence!  Once again, so very much has happened in our family.

We have a new member!  Little Esther was born back in January (she's nearly 4 months old!) and after a fairly wild ride, I think things are starting to feel a bit more normal.  Well, as normal as they can be with a small baby who only ever wants to be awake for no longer than an hour at a time!  Despite feeling like a bit of a shut-in, we're evolving as a family, and we all love her bright chubby smiles and the giggles that are beginning to come.

Another big change has been Hannah beginning school, and Davey heading off to day care 2 days a week (it worked out to be just a bit more expensive than 2x 2 hour blocks of 3 year old kinder a week!).  Life feels a lot busier, when the kids are home, trying to make sure that I still have some quality and a decent quantity of time with each of them.  It's tough trying to figure out when to get housework done, in order to still be able to spend time with the kids!  It feels like there are a lot of competing priorities and methods of procrastination, and I know I don't always make the right choices, but I feel like I am finally starting to head into a brain space where I can consider things more clearly.

It's so sad how quickly spending time in God's word can be pushed aside.  I finally began meeting one-to-one with a friend from church this week, and I can actually remember feeling a bit grumpy about it, in the hours leading up to our meeting, because this was going to eat into my relaxing/tv watching/weaving (yes, stress apparently also leads to impulse purchases, as well as comfort eating, and I bought a vintage loom!) time!  How rude!  I'm so glad that we got to meet though!  What a relief to spend some time immersed in Ezra, and realising how quickly and disappointingly the Israelites slipped back into intermarrying with the nations around them, and disobedience, after God had intervened so obviously to bring them back to their land, and rebuild the temple!  What a reminder to me, not to tune God out with the soundtrack of the world!

I'm also trying to work my way through the "I Quit Sugar" program at the moment.  I'm 4 days into cutting out pretty much all fructose, and I have to say, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be!  I really miss fruit though, and am toying with the idea of adding it back in a bit earlier, but I guess I'll just stick to the plan for the moment.  Despite finding some of the recipes in the book pretty foul (you can add some egg to some quinoa and call it a macaroon, but it just isn't!!!), I'm quite interested in the research presented, and plan on looking into some other books on the sugar/fat issue too.  If what they're presenting is true, it's got some pretty scary implications for family health!  Bring on the whole foods.

Anyway, sadly this isn't particularly insight or inspiring, but more of a catch-up, and hopefully some motivation for myself to start putting together some of the posts that I've been thinking about for such a long time.  I hope that you're having a great year so far, and that we can spend some more time together!!

Location, Location, Location: Part Two

Our possible home buying saga continues.  Hopefully we will find out this Monday if we can get a loan or not.  Our new mortgage broker seems confident.  Oh, it almost seems like too much.  Part of me hopes that they say no, so that we can finally just settle in here and not be looking around anymore.  You would think that I could just wait and see if we get the loan or not, but it turns out that I am both an obsessive and a  compulsive researcher - it's true, I looked it up.  It's quite tiring, being driven by that feeling of needing to know what our potential options are, in case we do get the loan.  And the speed with which the property market is rising is quite frightening.  It really feels like we could get priced out of the market before we even have a chance to get into it, or we could buy a lemon with massive issues, or someone else might get it first, or we could hate the area, or we could...

I am so thankful that I know that God is looking after us, no matter which way it goes.  He's already given us better landlords that we could have imagined, let alone asked for!  More and more I am realising that if I didn't have hope in God to rest upon, and to know that I can bring all my anxieties to him because he wants me to (he doesn't just deign to listen to them!), I would be one very stressed out little black duck.  Thank you God for listening and taking up my burdens!  More about my epiphany regarding what to do with complaining next (it's not really very ground-breaking, but it was to me at the time!).

Hanging in the Balance

It's been a while since I've posted.  Sorry about that. Doesn't life get busy?!  I felt quite busy last year with having a second baby and trying to run an online shop. This year I think I got a bit over excited.  I've tried to add in starting up and co-ordinating  a Junior Jivers group, starting a one-to-one with a lovely lady from church and doing a proper Moore College subject one evening a week.  That should be a walk in the park, right?  I'm not sure I've thought this all through properly...

Let me give you an idea of my week:
Sunday - John leaves for church early and I get the kids and myself there by 10:30am.
Monday - We were going to try and go to playgroup, but so far we haven't made it this year. I think I'm going to have to let that one go.
Tuesday - College Bible study and Moorewest Community Dinner
Wednesday - Running Junior Jivers
Thursday - College subject in the evening.  John puts the kids to bed while I head into the city at 5:30 for a 3 hour class.
Friday - Meet my one-to-one fortnightly
Saturday - Family day/whatever else is on

All of this is while I still breastfeeding and introducing David to solids and really feeling the need to nanna-nap each afternoon. This really takes up a fair chunk of time (much to Hannah's disappointment at being put down for a sleep).

What I've discovered so far:
1. My house is an embarrassing mess and I really struggle to have time to clean it properly, let alone de-clutter the mounting piles of "stuff" everywhere.
2. I'm in constant risk of going off at the kids for minor things, because I'm feeling so tired and like a failure because I'm not doing everything as well as I expect of myself.
3. I'm not doing very much very well, because I'm not preparing for things properly.
4. I have a rising sense of guilt about all these things.
5. I need to de-stress by making things, but I don't end up having time when I still need to finish chores in the evenings (hence my online shop is currently on "vacation mode").
6. Caring for small children can really leave me feeling peopled-out, but then I still need to spend time with adults or I get way too introspective.

Do you find it hard to decide what things you should fill your week with?  How do you decide between what's good and what's best?  How do you let go of the expectations upon yourself that there's always more you can fit in because you're not "working"?  I think that this is a lesson that I'm going to have to learn many many times before it sinks in.

Photo from Flickr by NCinDC.

Defusing the Clutter-Bomb

Stuff, stuff, stuff. I don't know about you, but I feel like our life is drowning in Stuff at the moment. Stuff of the tangible kind, especially after spending Christmas interstate with 2 small children and some very generous relatives. Sadly it's not a new phenomenon however - when we moved to Sydney, we shifted 40-something boxes from our tiny two bedroom unit. Even the moving men expressed a large degree of surprise at how we were able to fit that much Stuff in our home to begin with.

Being away for 3 weeks and living largely out of 3 bags has made me realise all the more just how much we have that we really don't use, let alone need and possibly even want! Add to that we're still living in a 2 bedroom unit, albeit a fair bit bigger than our Melbourne digs. My plan for this year, well, hopefully the next month or so, is to work through our home and sort out what we really want/need and get RID of the rest, be it through ebay, freecycle or offering good Stuff to our neighbours.

So very much Stuff, and yet I still find myself obsessively searching ebay for a good deal on an espresso machine... I think it's going to take me a while before I get this whole Stuff/materialism thing really sorted.

Image by A.Currell from Flickr