Emerging From the Mists, and Other Undertakings...

Well, it's been quite some time since my last post - 8 months to be exact, and hopefully I won't have to begin every post with the start of this sentence!  Once again, so very much has happened in our family.

We have a new member!  Little Esther was born back in January (she's nearly 4 months old!) and after a fairly wild ride, I think things are starting to feel a bit more normal.  Well, as normal as they can be with a small baby who only ever wants to be awake for no longer than an hour at a time!  Despite feeling like a bit of a shut-in, we're evolving as a family, and we all love her bright chubby smiles and the giggles that are beginning to come.

Another big change has been Hannah beginning school, and Davey heading off to day care 2 days a week (it worked out to be just a bit more expensive than 2x 2 hour blocks of 3 year old kinder a week!).  Life feels a lot busier, when the kids are home, trying to make sure that I still have some quality and a decent quantity of time with each of them.  It's tough trying to figure out when to get housework done, in order to still be able to spend time with the kids!  It feels like there are a lot of competing priorities and methods of procrastination, and I know I don't always make the right choices, but I feel like I am finally starting to head into a brain space where I can consider things more clearly.

It's so sad how quickly spending time in God's word can be pushed aside.  I finally began meeting one-to-one with a friend from church this week, and I can actually remember feeling a bit grumpy about it, in the hours leading up to our meeting, because this was going to eat into my relaxing/tv watching/weaving (yes, stress apparently also leads to impulse purchases, as well as comfort eating, and I bought a vintage loom!) time!  How rude!  I'm so glad that we got to meet though!  What a relief to spend some time immersed in Ezra, and realising how quickly and disappointingly the Israelites slipped back into intermarrying with the nations around them, and disobedience, after God had intervened so obviously to bring them back to their land, and rebuild the temple!  What a reminder to me, not to tune God out with the soundtrack of the world!

I'm also trying to work my way through the "I Quit Sugar" program at the moment.  I'm 4 days into cutting out pretty much all fructose, and I have to say, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be!  I really miss fruit though, and am toying with the idea of adding it back in a bit earlier, but I guess I'll just stick to the plan for the moment.  Despite finding some of the recipes in the book pretty foul (you can add some egg to some quinoa and call it a macaroon, but it just isn't!!!), I'm quite interested in the research presented, and plan on looking into some other books on the sugar/fat issue too.  If what they're presenting is true, it's got some pretty scary implications for family health!  Bring on the whole foods.

Anyway, sadly this isn't particularly insight or inspiring, but more of a catch-up, and hopefully some motivation for myself to start putting together some of the posts that I've been thinking about for such a long time.  I hope that you're having a great year so far, and that we can spend some more time together!!

Location, location, location

We've been looking at houses for sale lately.  (Theoretically, at least) we would like to buy one.  Have you ever bought a house?  What a storm of conflicting priorities!  How many bedrooms?  How many living areas? What suburb? Brick or weatherboard? New or existing?  Close to schools?  Which schools? And it's not just a matter of choosing which of these things, but weighing how important each of them are as well!  Not to mention, what is actually available for what we can afford?  And all of this before we've even confirmed that a bank will lend to us (hopefully we'll find that out tomorrow - eeek!)!

*Sigh!* We've found a house that we do quite like, and apart from putting in a bathtub and a dishwasher, it seems pretty much ready to just move straight in to.  I find I am so torn though - do we need another bedroom and a second living area to make doing ministry at home easier, or am I just being swayed by what the world (or what some denominational guidelines) says I ought to have for a family our size?  I'm pretty sure that the early church didn't have at least 4 bedrooms, a study, 2 living areas and a walk-in pantry!  Oh ho, it's an interesting, and over-researching ride!  I am a little bit on tenterhooks to hear what our mortgage broker says, hopefully tomorrow, and then who knows what will happen by the end of the week!

If you've bought a house, how have you gone about weighing up all of these different considerations?

Photo by I see Modern Britain on Flickr

The Big Push South

It’s been some time.  An awful lot has happened since my last post.  Let me fill you in.  College is done.  What sounds on the face of it, like it should be a great cause for celebration, is filled with some very mixed feelings.  John finished up in mid-November, and on the 6th of December, a truck came and loaded up all our worldly possessions and drove off.   Destination: Melbourne.

So on the 7th of March, it will have been 3 months, and I still quite keenly feel the loss of our college and Sydney church communities.  Even though we’ve moved closer to our biological families, it really does feel like we’ve left family behind.  I’m definitely struggling with discontentment at the moment, and I think perhaps this will be a pattern for me, moving into different places/situations, until I feel more established in the community and figure out more fully, what my role is. 

The same thing happened when we moved to college.  Poor John bore the brunt of my feelings of resentment that he got to go off and have a fabulous time studying theology with his new friends, while I had to stay home and “do the housework, and look after the baby”.  By the time we had Davey in second year, I was more than glad that I didn’t have to go out and work or study, but got to stay home and raise our lovely babies.  Oh how fickle my feelings are!!

Now, this is definitely not to say that our time in Melbourne hasn’t been without blessings!  John has taken over as the lead pastor of City Unichurch (name currently in negotiations), and we’ve largely felt extremely well welcomed and been so excited to see the amazing ways that our new church family serve the Lord and each other, as well as having a few visitors too!  We’ve had heaps of family support, are enjoying the extra space of a 3 bedroom house with a big yard and a supply of apricots, figs, lemons, walnuts and gorgeous roses.  Hannah is loving Kindergarten and Kinderballet.  All of the kids are pretty excited about our new playgroup too (which meant a serious meltdown when we had to leave, because they loved it so much!).

We all miss our college and Sydney church family and poor little Davey still cries about it sometimes.  It’s a little bit hard to cheer him up sometimes, when I’m feeling pretty sad about it myself.  I think I have a really big cry overdue (I’m such a girl!).  But last week was quite a good week, going away to Apollo Bay and having a chance to regroup and enjoy each other before John’s RMIT FOCUS work started in earnest this week.

I’m praying that the God who has already given me more than I could ever hope or imagine will help me to remember this truth, and move past these feelings of discontentment.  I’m praying that I can soon understand my role in this new stage of life, and support my family well, as we continue to change and grow.   I’m praying for new friends in our local community and that God can use us powerfully to build his kingdom here in Melbourne.

Image by alexbuitlr on flickr.

Hanging in the Balance

It's been a while since I've posted.  Sorry about that. Doesn't life get busy?!  I felt quite busy last year with having a second baby and trying to run an online shop. This year I think I got a bit over excited.  I've tried to add in starting up and co-ordinating  a Junior Jivers group, starting a one-to-one with a lovely lady from church and doing a proper Moore College subject one evening a week.  That should be a walk in the park, right?  I'm not sure I've thought this all through properly...

Let me give you an idea of my week:
Sunday - John leaves for church early and I get the kids and myself there by 10:30am.
Monday - We were going to try and go to playgroup, but so far we haven't made it this year. I think I'm going to have to let that one go.
Tuesday - College Bible study and Moorewest Community Dinner
Wednesday - Running Junior Jivers
Thursday - College subject in the evening.  John puts the kids to bed while I head into the city at 5:30 for a 3 hour class.
Friday - Meet my one-to-one fortnightly
Saturday - Family day/whatever else is on

All of this is while I still breastfeeding and introducing David to solids and really feeling the need to nanna-nap each afternoon. This really takes up a fair chunk of time (much to Hannah's disappointment at being put down for a sleep).

What I've discovered so far:
1. My house is an embarrassing mess and I really struggle to have time to clean it properly, let alone de-clutter the mounting piles of "stuff" everywhere.
2. I'm in constant risk of going off at the kids for minor things, because I'm feeling so tired and like a failure because I'm not doing everything as well as I expect of myself.
3. I'm not doing very much very well, because I'm not preparing for things properly.
4. I have a rising sense of guilt about all these things.
5. I need to de-stress by making things, but I don't end up having time when I still need to finish chores in the evenings (hence my online shop is currently on "vacation mode").
6. Caring for small children can really leave me feeling peopled-out, but then I still need to spend time with adults or I get way too introspective.

Do you find it hard to decide what things you should fill your week with?  How do you decide between what's good and what's best?  How do you let go of the expectations upon yourself that there's always more you can fit in because you're not "working"?  I think that this is a lesson that I'm going to have to learn many many times before it sinks in.

Photo from Flickr by NCinDC.