Emerging From the Mists, and Other Undertakings...

Well, it's been quite some time since my last post - 8 months to be exact, and hopefully I won't have to begin every post with the start of this sentence!  Once again, so very much has happened in our family.

We have a new member!  Little Esther was born back in January (she's nearly 4 months old!) and after a fairly wild ride, I think things are starting to feel a bit more normal.  Well, as normal as they can be with a small baby who only ever wants to be awake for no longer than an hour at a time!  Despite feeling like a bit of a shut-in, we're evolving as a family, and we all love her bright chubby smiles and the giggles that are beginning to come.

Another big change has been Hannah beginning school, and Davey heading off to day care 2 days a week (it worked out to be just a bit more expensive than 2x 2 hour blocks of 3 year old kinder a week!).  Life feels a lot busier, when the kids are home, trying to make sure that I still have some quality and a decent quantity of time with each of them.  It's tough trying to figure out when to get housework done, in order to still be able to spend time with the kids!  It feels like there are a lot of competing priorities and methods of procrastination, and I know I don't always make the right choices, but I feel like I am finally starting to head into a brain space where I can consider things more clearly.

It's so sad how quickly spending time in God's word can be pushed aside.  I finally began meeting one-to-one with a friend from church this week, and I can actually remember feeling a bit grumpy about it, in the hours leading up to our meeting, because this was going to eat into my relaxing/tv watching/weaving (yes, stress apparently also leads to impulse purchases, as well as comfort eating, and I bought a vintage loom!) time!  How rude!  I'm so glad that we got to meet though!  What a relief to spend some time immersed in Ezra, and realising how quickly and disappointingly the Israelites slipped back into intermarrying with the nations around them, and disobedience, after God had intervened so obviously to bring them back to their land, and rebuild the temple!  What a reminder to me, not to tune God out with the soundtrack of the world!

I'm also trying to work my way through the "I Quit Sugar" program at the moment.  I'm 4 days into cutting out pretty much all fructose, and I have to say, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be!  I really miss fruit though, and am toying with the idea of adding it back in a bit earlier, but I guess I'll just stick to the plan for the moment.  Despite finding some of the recipes in the book pretty foul (you can add some egg to some quinoa and call it a macaroon, but it just isn't!!!), I'm quite interested in the research presented, and plan on looking into some other books on the sugar/fat issue too.  If what they're presenting is true, it's got some pretty scary implications for family health!  Bring on the whole foods.

Anyway, sadly this isn't particularly insight or inspiring, but more of a catch-up, and hopefully some motivation for myself to start putting together some of the posts that I've been thinking about for such a long time.  I hope that you're having a great year so far, and that we can spend some more time together!!

Just Talking

Well, it's been a long time.  We've been on a crazy, emotional ride. But enough of that for now. Today I'd rather talk to you about something that I've been thinking about for a little while now, and just not found made the time to share yet.  Evangelism.

That dreaded 'E' word that seems to strike fear into the hearts of so many - quite sadly, I might add! So what new thoughts can I possibly have to add to this subject? Some new tool or method for making it easier or less daunting?  Not at all.  Quite the opposite actually.

Now, please don't misunderstand me.  I'm not saying that different evangelistic tools don't have their place, because they certainly do!  Two Ways to Live, for example, is brilliant, especially for new Christians (and some long term!) to learn and make sure that they have really understood the gospel - and certainly to share with other people too!  What I am saying, however, is that I think we can tend to over formalise the idea of "Evangelism".  We can take it out of the realms of being prepared to share the hope that we have (1 Peter 3:15), and elevate it to something akin to a magical unicorn hunt, where we feel as though only those who have been trained in this very specific art have the skills or the courage to capture the elusive unicorn.  

We can get so worked up about it, and so formulaic in the way that we try to talk to people about Jesus, that we just plain make it weird.  I mean, most people are happy to talk about the things that they are interested in, but I think both with over course-ising it (ooooh, now there's a terrible word that will never take off!), and often with us just expecting people to react badly to the news that we're Christian, that we can come across incredibly unnaturally.  Now I am more than happy to acknowledge that not everybody has the spiritual gift of evangelism (1 Corinthians 12), but just because I may not be blessed with a specific gift of helping, for example, that doesn't mean that I can't help pack the chairs away after our weekly church family gathering.  And more so for evangelism, because of verses like 1 Peter 3:15, where we are all called to "always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."  And I'm relatively confident that for the vast majority of us, who have been through an AFES group, or go to a decent church, we ought to be incredibly well equipped to give a very clear answer to anyone who asks us about our faith in Jesus!

So how can we do this?  I think we need to just be normal, and talk to people about God, as we would also talk to them about other things/people that we love.  To paraphrase the advice of my friend Ben Pfahlert, it's best to try to let people know that we're Christian as early in the relationship as possible - even just mentioning that we went to church on the weekend if someone asks how your weekend was.  Getting it out there early makes it less awkward later on (I remember the amusing reaction of a work mate that I'd been having coffee with for quite a few weeks when I mentioned I was a Christian - she immediately tried to do a mental catalogue of all the things she'd ever said to me, in case I might have been offended!), and also sets you in their minds as someone they can possibly go to if they have questions about God etc (I got a sterling opportunity with the same work mate, some months later, to give a full explanation of exactly why I am a Christian).  

If we can work on not seeing evangelism as an added extra to the other things that we do, or to church life, but can talk to people about God normally and naturally, as the opportunity arises, I think we will make much greater inroads into sharing the gospel with our friends.  There's even an Ed Stetzer statistic that 61% of non-Christian people in their 20's would say yes if a friend offered to study the Bible with them!  Conversations may not always go super well, and we may not always see people turning to God, but it's got to be worth the effort.  And if we Jesus has given his very life for us, I think we can weather some potentially awkward conversations.  What do we really have to lose, when our friends potentially have everything to gain?  Let's just start talking!!!

Photo by Moyan Brenn on Flickr.

Location, Location, Location: Part Two

Our possible home buying saga continues.  Hopefully we will find out this Monday if we can get a loan or not.  Our new mortgage broker seems confident.  Oh, it almost seems like too much.  Part of me hopes that they say no, so that we can finally just settle in here and not be looking around anymore.  You would think that I could just wait and see if we get the loan or not, but it turns out that I am both an obsessive and a  compulsive researcher - it's true, I looked it up.  It's quite tiring, being driven by that feeling of needing to know what our potential options are, in case we do get the loan.  And the speed with which the property market is rising is quite frightening.  It really feels like we could get priced out of the market before we even have a chance to get into it, or we could buy a lemon with massive issues, or someone else might get it first, or we could hate the area, or we could...

I am so thankful that I know that God is looking after us, no matter which way it goes.  He's already given us better landlords that we could have imagined, let alone asked for!  More and more I am realising that if I didn't have hope in God to rest upon, and to know that I can bring all my anxieties to him because he wants me to (he doesn't just deign to listen to them!), I would be one very stressed out little black duck.  Thank you God for listening and taking up my burdens!  More about my epiphany regarding what to do with complaining next (it's not really very ground-breaking, but it was to me at the time!).

Location, location, location

We've been looking at houses for sale lately.  (Theoretically, at least) we would like to buy one.  Have you ever bought a house?  What a storm of conflicting priorities!  How many bedrooms?  How many living areas? What suburb? Brick or weatherboard? New or existing?  Close to schools?  Which schools? And it's not just a matter of choosing which of these things, but weighing how important each of them are as well!  Not to mention, what is actually available for what we can afford?  And all of this before we've even confirmed that a bank will lend to us (hopefully we'll find that out tomorrow - eeek!)!

*Sigh!* We've found a house that we do quite like, and apart from putting in a bathtub and a dishwasher, it seems pretty much ready to just move straight in to.  I find I am so torn though - do we need another bedroom and a second living area to make doing ministry at home easier, or am I just being swayed by what the world (or what some denominational guidelines) says I ought to have for a family our size?  I'm pretty sure that the early church didn't have at least 4 bedrooms, a study, 2 living areas and a walk-in pantry!  Oh ho, it's an interesting, and over-researching ride!  I am a little bit on tenterhooks to hear what our mortgage broker says, hopefully tomorrow, and then who knows what will happen by the end of the week!

If you've bought a house, how have you gone about weighing up all of these different considerations?

Photo by I see Modern Britain on Flickr

The Big Push South

It’s been some time.  An awful lot has happened since my last post.  Let me fill you in.  College is done.  What sounds on the face of it, like it should be a great cause for celebration, is filled with some very mixed feelings.  John finished up in mid-November, and on the 6th of December, a truck came and loaded up all our worldly possessions and drove off.   Destination: Melbourne.

So on the 7th of March, it will have been 3 months, and I still quite keenly feel the loss of our college and Sydney church communities.  Even though we’ve moved closer to our biological families, it really does feel like we’ve left family behind.  I’m definitely struggling with discontentment at the moment, and I think perhaps this will be a pattern for me, moving into different places/situations, until I feel more established in the community and figure out more fully, what my role is. 

The same thing happened when we moved to college.  Poor John bore the brunt of my feelings of resentment that he got to go off and have a fabulous time studying theology with his new friends, while I had to stay home and “do the housework, and look after the baby”.  By the time we had Davey in second year, I was more than glad that I didn’t have to go out and work or study, but got to stay home and raise our lovely babies.  Oh how fickle my feelings are!!

Now, this is definitely not to say that our time in Melbourne hasn’t been without blessings!  John has taken over as the lead pastor of City Unichurch (name currently in negotiations), and we’ve largely felt extremely well welcomed and been so excited to see the amazing ways that our new church family serve the Lord and each other, as well as having a few visitors too!  We’ve had heaps of family support, are enjoying the extra space of a 3 bedroom house with a big yard and a supply of apricots, figs, lemons, walnuts and gorgeous roses.  Hannah is loving Kindergarten and Kinderballet.  All of the kids are pretty excited about our new playgroup too (which meant a serious meltdown when we had to leave, because they loved it so much!).

We all miss our college and Sydney church family and poor little Davey still cries about it sometimes.  It’s a little bit hard to cheer him up sometimes, when I’m feeling pretty sad about it myself.  I think I have a really big cry overdue (I’m such a girl!).  But last week was quite a good week, going away to Apollo Bay and having a chance to regroup and enjoy each other before John’s RMIT FOCUS work started in earnest this week.

I’m praying that the God who has already given me more than I could ever hope or imagine will help me to remember this truth, and move past these feelings of discontentment.  I’m praying that I can soon understand my role in this new stage of life, and support my family well, as we continue to change and grow.   I’m praying for new friends in our local community and that God can use us powerfully to build his kingdom here in Melbourne.

Image by alexbuitlr on flickr.

The Final Countdown - 11 Days to Go

Well, it's been about 5 months since my last post... Oops...  Certainly not because I haven't had anything that I've wanted to share, but you know life.  It's busy.  And messy.  And such a blessing from God!

So, I've decided to snatch up these 10 minutes, while our nearly 4 year old is at preschool, and our 2 year old and 7 month old are sleeping, and before I take my nap too.

11 days.  That's all we have left now in Sydney.  We've been here for nearly 4 years, a Bible college degree and 2 babies, and now we have 11 days left.  I can't believe it.  There is just so much to process and so many mixed feelings about leaving, and soooooo much packing to do.

I'm so thankful for our time here.  For all that we've learnt and our personal growth through college and church and Christian community, for our wonderful and amazing church and college friends.  For the two beautiful children who were born while we were here, and for the one who has essential done all of her growing here.  For not having to move for 4 lovely, settled years.  For the, at times, rough ride that college has been and for all that has taught us about God's care and love, and about ourselves and our marriage.  For the deep and wonderful friends that God has brought my way - I will miss you dearly!

I'm also thankful for a new church family ready and waiting for us, who trust John to take over leading them!  For being so much closer to pretty much all of our extended family (sorry Mum and Dad, you really should consider moving south!!).  For a lovely house to move in to where not everything will take place in the lounge room.  For a backyard (although I will miss hanging out with the other mums under the clotheslines!).

So many mixed feelings.  As I said to John yesterday, it's not that I don't want to move to Melbourne - in fact, I'm quite excited about it!  I just don't want to leave here.

Image by Robert S. Donovan on Flickr

Don't Be Afraid of the Ball

I used to play soccer B.C. (before children). Well, before marriage really. Somewhat embarrassingly, it was 'Bend It Like Beckham' that finally got me out the door and joining up with the local team (I don't think I've ever been described as 'sporty'). I was a back row defender, the main reason being that while I was more than happy to mark people like a champ (well, as much as I could manage to keep up with them *wheeze, wheeze, puff, puff!*) and use my body to physically block girls charging towards the goals (soccer really isn't a non-contact sport), I wasn't really expected to "do" anything with the ball apart from keep it away from our goal. Yep. I was afraid to have a go at scoring. I didn't think I, and honestly I probably didn't, have the ball skills necessary to get past the other teams defenders.

I was afraid of the ball.

Why am I telling you this? Is it a limping attempt to relive my sporting "glory days"?  Actually, no. It all started with a conversation that my lovely husband and I had a couple of weeks ago about evangelism. He was saying that the church is like an AFL team, with "Your evangelists out the front, looking to score goals..."  At which point I was lost. Sorry. I only lived in Victoria until I was 6. How on earth does that strange game work?  I started thinking about soccer. 

I'm afraid most of the time I've rated my evangelism skills as being roughly on par with my soccer ball skills. I'm more than happy to support the "evangelists", cheer them on, defend in the back line, but please don't think I can make any opportunities to "score", because I just don't have the skills!  

I've come to realise that the final sentence above should finish with the word 'confidence'. A thought that I have to admit, troubles me. But it's an issue i think, however stitlingly, I think I've slowly been getting better at.

I love the realisation that I know the gospel, and that's all that I need to know to tell people about Jesus. While evangelistic tools can be helpful, the most important thing to do is to just start talking. I can talk as openly about God as I do the other things I love, and God can use that to lead to an opportunity for me to share more of his Word with people. And as God said to Isaiah in Isaiah 55:11, "So it is my word that goes out from my mouth:  It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  Every conversation that I have with someone about God may not lead them straight to trust in him immediately, or even at all, but it may lead to another conversation sometime, with someone. And the person I've spoken to will know that I am a Christian, so if they do have questions later, they'll know I'm more than happy to talk about it. I don't need special words, or a special formula, but I can just talk.  That's not to say that I don't get ridiculously excited when I do get the opportunity to talk to someone about God, and don't have the voice in my head screaming, "Oh my goodness!  An opportunity!  Don't stuff it up!!!!"

Even if I may not feel like I'm a 'striker', or have particular skills in evangelism, it's great to know that I can be ready to make the most of the opportunities that I do have (Ephesians 5:15-16), and sometimes to even make some.  As it says in 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

Photo by anekphoto on Flickr