Location, Location, Location: Part Two

Our possible home buying saga continues.  Hopefully we will find out this Monday if we can get a loan or not.  Our new mortgage broker seems confident.  Oh, it almost seems like too much.  Part of me hopes that they say no, so that we can finally just settle in here and not be looking around anymore.  You would think that I could just wait and see if we get the loan or not, but it turns out that I am both an obsessive and a  compulsive researcher - it's true, I looked it up.  It's quite tiring, being driven by that feeling of needing to know what our potential options are, in case we do get the loan.  And the speed with which the property market is rising is quite frightening.  It really feels like we could get priced out of the market before we even have a chance to get into it, or we could buy a lemon with massive issues, or someone else might get it first, or we could hate the area, or we could...

I am so thankful that I know that God is looking after us, no matter which way it goes.  He's already given us better landlords that we could have imagined, let alone asked for!  More and more I am realising that if I didn't have hope in God to rest upon, and to know that I can bring all my anxieties to him because he wants me to (he doesn't just deign to listen to them!), I would be one very stressed out little black duck.  Thank you God for listening and taking up my burdens!  More about my epiphany regarding what to do with complaining next (it's not really very ground-breaking, but it was to me at the time!).

Location, location, location

We've been looking at houses for sale lately.  (Theoretically, at least) we would like to buy one.  Have you ever bought a house?  What a storm of conflicting priorities!  How many bedrooms?  How many living areas? What suburb? Brick or weatherboard? New or existing?  Close to schools?  Which schools? And it's not just a matter of choosing which of these things, but weighing how important each of them are as well!  Not to mention, what is actually available for what we can afford?  And all of this before we've even confirmed that a bank will lend to us (hopefully we'll find that out tomorrow - eeek!)!

*Sigh!* We've found a house that we do quite like, and apart from putting in a bathtub and a dishwasher, it seems pretty much ready to just move straight in to.  I find I am so torn though - do we need another bedroom and a second living area to make doing ministry at home easier, or am I just being swayed by what the world (or what some denominational guidelines) says I ought to have for a family our size?  I'm pretty sure that the early church didn't have at least 4 bedrooms, a study, 2 living areas and a walk-in pantry!  Oh ho, it's an interesting, and over-researching ride!  I am a little bit on tenterhooks to hear what our mortgage broker says, hopefully tomorrow, and then who knows what will happen by the end of the week!

If you've bought a house, how have you gone about weighing up all of these different considerations?

Photo by I see Modern Britain on Flickr

The Big Push South

It’s been some time.  An awful lot has happened since my last post.  Let me fill you in.  College is done.  What sounds on the face of it, like it should be a great cause for celebration, is filled with some very mixed feelings.  John finished up in mid-November, and on the 6th of December, a truck came and loaded up all our worldly possessions and drove off.   Destination: Melbourne.

So on the 7th of March, it will have been 3 months, and I still quite keenly feel the loss of our college and Sydney church communities.  Even though we’ve moved closer to our biological families, it really does feel like we’ve left family behind.  I’m definitely struggling with discontentment at the moment, and I think perhaps this will be a pattern for me, moving into different places/situations, until I feel more established in the community and figure out more fully, what my role is. 

The same thing happened when we moved to college.  Poor John bore the brunt of my feelings of resentment that he got to go off and have a fabulous time studying theology with his new friends, while I had to stay home and “do the housework, and look after the baby”.  By the time we had Davey in second year, I was more than glad that I didn’t have to go out and work or study, but got to stay home and raise our lovely babies.  Oh how fickle my feelings are!!

Now, this is definitely not to say that our time in Melbourne hasn’t been without blessings!  John has taken over as the lead pastor of City Unichurch (name currently in negotiations), and we’ve largely felt extremely well welcomed and been so excited to see the amazing ways that our new church family serve the Lord and each other, as well as having a few visitors too!  We’ve had heaps of family support, are enjoying the extra space of a 3 bedroom house with a big yard and a supply of apricots, figs, lemons, walnuts and gorgeous roses.  Hannah is loving Kindergarten and Kinderballet.  All of the kids are pretty excited about our new playgroup too (which meant a serious meltdown when we had to leave, because they loved it so much!).

We all miss our college and Sydney church family and poor little Davey still cries about it sometimes.  It’s a little bit hard to cheer him up sometimes, when I’m feeling pretty sad about it myself.  I think I have a really big cry overdue (I’m such a girl!).  But last week was quite a good week, going away to Apollo Bay and having a chance to regroup and enjoy each other before John’s RMIT FOCUS work started in earnest this week.

I’m praying that the God who has already given me more than I could ever hope or imagine will help me to remember this truth, and move past these feelings of discontentment.  I’m praying that I can soon understand my role in this new stage of life, and support my family well, as we continue to change and grow.   I’m praying for new friends in our local community and that God can use us powerfully to build his kingdom here in Melbourne.

Image by alexbuitlr on flickr.

The Final Countdown - 11 Days to Go

Well, it's been about 5 months since my last post... Oops...  Certainly not because I haven't had anything that I've wanted to share, but you know life.  It's busy.  And messy.  And such a blessing from God!

So, I've decided to snatch up these 10 minutes, while our nearly 4 year old is at preschool, and our 2 year old and 7 month old are sleeping, and before I take my nap too.

11 days.  That's all we have left now in Sydney.  We've been here for nearly 4 years, a Bible college degree and 2 babies, and now we have 11 days left.  I can't believe it.  There is just so much to process and so many mixed feelings about leaving, and soooooo much packing to do.

I'm so thankful for our time here.  For all that we've learnt and our personal growth through college and church and Christian community, for our wonderful and amazing church and college friends.  For the two beautiful children who were born while we were here, and for the one who has essential done all of her growing here.  For not having to move for 4 lovely, settled years.  For the, at times, rough ride that college has been and for all that has taught us about God's care and love, and about ourselves and our marriage.  For the deep and wonderful friends that God has brought my way - I will miss you dearly!

I'm also thankful for a new church family ready and waiting for us, who trust John to take over leading them!  For being so much closer to pretty much all of our extended family (sorry Mum and Dad, you really should consider moving south!!).  For a lovely house to move in to where not everything will take place in the lounge room.  For a backyard (although I will miss hanging out with the other mums under the clotheslines!).

So many mixed feelings.  As I said to John yesterday, it's not that I don't want to move to Melbourne - in fact, I'm quite excited about it!  I just don't want to leave here.

Image by Robert S. Donovan on Flickr

Don't Be Afraid of the Ball

I used to play soccer B.C. (before children). Well, before marriage really. Somewhat embarrassingly, it was 'Bend It Like Beckham' that finally got me out the door and joining up with the local team (I don't think I've ever been described as 'sporty'). I was a back row defender, the main reason being that while I was more than happy to mark people like a champ (well, as much as I could manage to keep up with them *wheeze, wheeze, puff, puff!*) and use my body to physically block girls charging towards the goals (soccer really isn't a non-contact sport), I wasn't really expected to "do" anything with the ball apart from keep it away from our goal. Yep. I was afraid to have a go at scoring. I didn't think I, and honestly I probably didn't, have the ball skills necessary to get past the other teams defenders.

I was afraid of the ball.

Why am I telling you this? Is it a limping attempt to relive my sporting "glory days"?  Actually, no. It all started with a conversation that my lovely husband and I had a couple of weeks ago about evangelism. He was saying that the church is like an AFL team, with "Your evangelists out the front, looking to score goals..."  At which point I was lost. Sorry. I only lived in Victoria until I was 6. How on earth does that strange game work?  I started thinking about soccer. 

I'm afraid most of the time I've rated my evangelism skills as being roughly on par with my soccer ball skills. I'm more than happy to support the "evangelists", cheer them on, defend in the back line, but please don't think I can make any opportunities to "score", because I just don't have the skills!  

I've come to realise that the final sentence above should finish with the word 'confidence'. A thought that I have to admit, troubles me. But it's an issue i think, however stitlingly, I think I've slowly been getting better at.

I love the realisation that I know the gospel, and that's all that I need to know to tell people about Jesus. While evangelistic tools can be helpful, the most important thing to do is to just start talking. I can talk as openly about God as I do the other things I love, and God can use that to lead to an opportunity for me to share more of his Word with people. And as God said to Isaiah in Isaiah 55:11, "So it is my word that goes out from my mouth:  It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  Every conversation that I have with someone about God may not lead them straight to trust in him immediately, or even at all, but it may lead to another conversation sometime, with someone. And the person I've spoken to will know that I am a Christian, so if they do have questions later, they'll know I'm more than happy to talk about it. I don't need special words, or a special formula, but I can just talk.  That's not to say that I don't get ridiculously excited when I do get the opportunity to talk to someone about God, and don't have the voice in my head screaming, "Oh my goodness!  An opportunity!  Don't stuff it up!!!!"

Even if I may not feel like I'm a 'striker', or have particular skills in evangelism, it's great to know that I can be ready to make the most of the opportunities that I do have (Ephesians 5:15-16), and sometimes to even make some.  As it says in 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

Photo by anekphoto on Flickr

A Proper Grown Up

How do you feel about your age?  Do you feel your age?  I remember thinking, when I was a child, that the grown ups had it all together.  They were in control, knew what had to be done, and were so confident in moving about in their lives.  I just turned 33 (eeep!) and most of the time I don't think I feel terribly much different than when I was about 14.  I know that I have grown and changed immensely since then, but on the average day, that's pretty much my perception of the view from the inside.  And that is why what I am about to share gives me a right ol' slap in the face, shaking me back into reality.

My lovely husband has recently been voted in to be the next senior minister (well, they only have one so there's not much choice!) of a fairly recent church plant in Melbourne.  What a flood of conflicting emotions!  We're so excited to be stepping into this position next year - what an amazing opportunity and a wonderful privilege!  ...  And what an immense responsibility!  He's going to be the church minister.  I'm going to be the minister's wife.  Our family will be on show, for all to see (a confronting prospect when you're a bit sleep deprived, low on patience and trying to teach small people how to control their tempers...).  It is all a bit daunting when you still like doing things like swishing your feet through crunchy autumn leaves, jumping on trampolines, eating Cheezles off your fingers, clapping like a maniac when you get excited and still finding toilet humour quite hilarious (that one I also blame on a background in nursing - you've got to laugh, otherwise you'd cry).  It's nearly time to step up and be a proper grown up.

Recently though, I started thinking about other things that people have done by the time that they were my age; responsibilities that other people have taken on.  Calvin had already churned out his first version of the "Institutes" by the time he was 27.  I'm pretty sure that Andrew Reid was the national director of AFES well before 33.  Albeit he was God the Son, but Jesus died on the cross for the sins of all humanity when he was 33, and that we following a 3 year public teaching ministry.  I by no means assume that my influence will ever be anywhere near such people, but it did encourage me that it is possible, and no doubt time, to not be afraid to be a "proper grown up", with proper grown up sized responsibilities.  After all, that is why we came to Bible college.  And even though I know I am going to do and say things that I will regret, I can hold fast to my God, who says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9  And I pray that I can emulate Paul when he says, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Definitely time to take some deep breathes, get a solid diet of God's Word happening again (toll of a new baby) and keep praying!

Image is by bulldog1 of flickr

Book Spine Poetry Meme

A couple of weeks ago (eek! I am slow!) Jean tagged me and challenged me to create a poem using only the spines of books.  I eagerly set out that day and photographed it, but sadly I am only now sharing it with you. It's been a busy couple of weeks...

Here are the rules:

• Create a book spine poem (see some more examples here).
• Take a photograph of it.
• Post it on your blog.
• Link back to this post.
• Tag another blogger, or two, or ten!

So here is my poem (apologies for the quality of the photograph) - bear in mind that we'd just finished watching through season 9 of Spooks.

Here I stand
No name
The Secret Agent
Where angels fear to tread
No guts no glory
To kill a mockingbird

I tag Emily, Sharon, John, Dan and Farrah. I can't wait to see what you guys come up with!